I am so pleased to be able to welcome Dawn from Rhyming with Wine as our first ever guest blogger for the bloggers #DreamTeam. Dawn is an incredible rhymer of epic standards who writes about family life. Her posts are well known for causing hysterical laughter.. which is catching… as you are likely to share her posts with everyone you know, as well as being a touch emotional on occasion.
Now over to the brilliant Dawn….
I have been a huge fan of Annette and her fabulous blog: 3 Little Buttons for some time now. I was so excited for her when she recently launched her new #DreamTeam linky, and even more giddy when she asked me if she could feature one of my posts!
So then it got a bit tricky as I had to pick a favourite from my archives. The conversation went a bit like this:
Annette: Could you pick a favourite maybe and explain why you like it?
Me: But what if the ones I like are actually a bit naff?
Me: What if I’m like those people on X-Factor that think they can sing??
Me: Can I just send you loads and you can tell me which you like best?
Annette: (Because she is a superstar) Do that one.
Thank you Annette! Not only for featuring my post, but for actually helping me pick which one to share! You are definitely SUPERHOST!
So why did I shortlist pick this one? I guess it just represents a lot of what I like to rhyme about! It talks about a situation that every single Mum (Dad / carer) will be able to relate to at some point I’m sure, and it was written to sum up the selflessness that goes into bringing up children, and how gracious we are in accepting that our children’s needs now come first.
*sighs and blows fringe off forehead*
Here goes! Hope you enjoy.
Mummies don’t get sick at all.
We never have a cough.
Thank goodness as we wouldn’t get a sniff of a day off.
And even if we asked them, our unsympathetic “boss”,
with all their best intentions, frankly wouldn’t give a toss.
It’s lucky that we never need to wallow in our bed,
We jump up with our “SUPERMUMMY!” costume on instead.
We never feel like road kill and we never need to sneeze,
While you run around incessantly, demanding “more juice peeese”.
It’s really quite astounding that we never catch the germs,
that you carry home from playgroup in your pocket full of worms.
We never need our eyes shut,
While CBeebies babysits.
We never have a fever and we never have the …erm flu?
We never need to rest ourselves, all wrapped up in our beds.
We’d much prefer the sofa while you bounce upon our heads.
It’s lovely when you snuggle up – and just WILL NOT LAY STILL!?
It never drives us potty as of course, we don’t get ill.
Mummies don’t watch Downton with a hint of jealousy,
While lucky sod Lord Grantham lies in bed and sips his tea.
We truly think it’s smashing when you want to be the Doc’,
And come to mend our poorly with a bandage (made of sock).
You want to be like mummy and we know you like to share,
And so it’s really touching when YOU throw up everywhere.
It’s lucky we don’t want to gag while cleaning up your sick
And even if we’re feeling grim, we sure recover quick!
The second that you need us we can “man up” in a shot!
And dash to get the calpol at the faintest sign of snot.
It truly is a blessing that we mums are never ill,
it’s spiffing how we’re fine with just
“The SUPERMUMMY Pill!!” *
(And just in case you SuperDads and carers feel left out,
If you too are invincible you also get a shout!!) :0)
Active ingredients: coffee, coffee, CBeebies, cake, toast crusts, cake and child size milky way bars. (Not the kids. Obvs).
Possible side effects: Slight rocking motion whilst muttering “The Twirly Woos” theme.
Because “whine” rhymes with “wine”, in much the same way as “tantrum” rhymes with “vodka” and generally most things rhyme with “cake!”