How to keep your ‘what if’s’ in check

 

 

London Underground is packed this morning on the way in to work. Another fault on the line… or so they say. I am on the tube and a man has somehow managed to wedge his wibberly bum on top of my arm.

 

His entire bot-bot!

 

No… I am not kidding.

 

He’s sort of perched there like a wobbly overgrown bird. I am sure if anyone could see they would be rolling around the floor in laughter (haha I know I would be). I am only ALMOST amused though… given that it’s my arm of course.

 

what if, 3 Little Buttons blog

 

The trouble with these delightful encounters are that they have a habit of triggering ALL my big what if’s.

 

What if I told him to shift his big bum…

What if I didn’t have to get the tube in the first place…

What if I had been a stay-at-home parent. Wouldn’t that have been better for Little Button? Que enormous guilt for the rest of the week.

And finally…

What if I hadn’t gone and got myself ‘a real’ job, and instead pursued my writing ambition. Surely that would have been the answer to all the above!

 

No big bottoms and no tube journey’s IF I had been a stay-at-home, work-from-home mum, doing what I love best… spending time with Little Button and writing.  Sighs…. but it’s just not that simple is it?

 

I have sat on this post for a few months now. Part of me not sure when and if I should let it go live as it’s a tad revealing… but also because I didn’t want to send my ‘what if’s’ out there to float around with no resolution. All the while, this thought has been stuck in my mind.

 

 

If only I could just get out of my own way or at least have the courage to try!

 

Sound familiar? Time to man up I think. So in the end I did what any Button would do. I took control and started to work out how I could action my ‘what if’s’ and put a stop to all the unraveling.

 

 

Here are the steps I took

– I wrote them down. This is so simple, but had a huge impact on how I felt about them. Seeing my ‘what if’s’ in black and white somehow uncomplicated them. Give it a go yourself.

– Once untangled from my thoughts and now in an easy to read list, I looked at each one to think about how realistic they were, if they were just pie-in-the-sky, and if there was a way to simplify them to make them achievable.

– Lastly I looked for opportunities to make them happen, because if you don’t take steps to give your ‘what if’s’ a try, they gradually become harder to achieve.

 

 

Simplifying things

I found that hidden under all the extra stuff my main two ‘what if’s’ are:

– What if I had pursued a career in writing.

– What if I had stayed at home to look after Little Button.

 

I had somehow squashed these two together into one, then spent the last 3 years getting incredibly cross at myself because if I had done the first, I would have easily been able to do the second.

 

 

Taking action

The first one was pretty easy to action, though whether or not things work out will be another story (or blog post). To be a writer, you need to write… I already do this. Apart from stretching my wordsmith skills and having a place to record our adventures, it turned out that the Buttons blog has recently provided me with some fantastic opportunities to work with some really great brands. I have just signed up to take a course to sharpen and update my copywriting skills and once completed, I am going to take steps to re-launch myself as a freelance copywriter. Woohoo!

 

The second ‘what if’ is a bit tougher. Little Button is a year away from starting reception now and already has a good routine. I really love my ‘proper’ job, and know that I am lucky to be in the position. Still, I am racked with guilt everyday. Daddy Button and I sat down and worked out that actually… yes… I could stay at home with Little Button, I had just never talked about how I was feeling, or even thought to find out if it was possible. I am sitting on this ‘what if’ at the moment, but now I know that the very real option to actually do this is there, so I feel a weight has been lifted off my shoulders.

 

Things are now coming together because I didn’t let my ‘what if’s’ run too far away from me. Have a go and see what you can achieve today.

 

Do you have any ‘what if’s’?

Linking up to  | #TwinklyTuesday | #BloggersClubUK

 

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12 Comments

  1. March 28, 2016 / 4:43 pm

    I spend so much time thinking about all the different ‘what ifs’ and rely a lot on my hubby to make me just get on with it! At least you’ve been really proactive, it’s good to know you have the option of staying home if you want to. I’m sure you’ll make the right decision for you and your family 🙂 #CandidCuddles

  2. March 28, 2016 / 5:34 pm

    Is there a modern mother out there who doesn’t suffer the ‘what ifs’ and the guilt that goes with them? Some days which ever decision you have made seems to be the wrong compromise but maybe we need to take the guilt out the equation, take what we need from our careers and fill the Tiddler Time with fun and games! I appreciate my time at with them so much more now that I also work!

  3. March 28, 2016 / 6:44 pm

    Firstly, I love your picture, it’s fabulous, surely you could always have a second career as an illustrator?!?!

    Go you for being so proactive! I have always been a ‘good and bad’ list maker, it does make all the difference in putting things into perspective. It sounds like you might have some great decisions to make, good luck with it and thank you for sharing with #candidcuddles xxx

  4. March 28, 2016 / 7:06 pm

    What a great illustration you should definitely do more!!! I think we all have those what if moments at times but I guess if you dwell on them too much and are really unhappy with your life then you re right you need to think about what you can do to change that. The problem is with children come financial responsibilities and it isn’t always so easy to follow your heart.

  5. March 29, 2016 / 9:56 pm

    Thanks for sharing such a personal post. I also have this moments and I now realise these things can happen if you believe in them, communicate with the other half and go for it! Great post! #liveyourdreams #twinklytuesdays

  6. March 30, 2016 / 8:01 am

    ha ha very entertaining! i’m a real what if person and a total fast film person too so I feel your pain! #BloggerClubUK

  7. March 30, 2016 / 11:00 am

    Great post. It’s so easily done isn’t it, the whole What If thing ! Glad you can turn it to a positive xx #BloggerClubUK

  8. March 30, 2016 / 11:50 am

    This is such a lovely and inspiring post! I’m terrible for those ‘What If’s’ – it’s amazing what writing things down in a list can do to untangle those thoughts in your head and make sense of everything. So glad that it’s spurred you on to be more proactive in chasing down your ambitions! #bloggerclubuk

  9. March 30, 2016 / 3:23 pm

    This is a great post. I’m the opposite and quite often think what if I had returned to work… Just go for it though! #bloggerclubuk

  10. April 1, 2016 / 2:13 pm

    Love your drawing & description here lol He must have been so tall! I hope you told him to move his bum. I have loads of what if’s. Writing them down is so helpful it’s something I haven’t done in awhile & I’m going to do it tonight! It can really help you sort out your thoughts. Your writing is fabulous – your blog is lovely. Keep up the good work with confidence. #candidcuddles
    Becky, Cuddle Fairy recently posted…Where do you fall on the cleaning spectrum?My Profile

  11. April 4, 2016 / 8:34 pm

    Aww this is a great post even if it did start with a wobbly bottom. By the sounds of it your guilt is similar to mine so I say grab that writing opportunity with both hands and jump straight in. I am sure you will make a success of it. Its a good idea to write down your what ifs and maybe its something I will do once I am on maternity leave. Thank you so much for joining us at #BloggerClubUK hope to see you again this week x
    Mudpie Fridays recently posted…Preparing for a Natural Birth & Avoiding InductionMy Profile

  12. April 6, 2016 / 5:47 am

    This is amazing! Your posts always make me smile but this one really inspired me. I’m so pleased that you’ve grabbed your what ifs by the horns and worked out what you really want to do with them. Congratulations lovely! You deserve every success!

    Dawn x

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