I don’t usually cry but…

May 4, 2018


I know I’m being really REALLY daft. It was actually nothing. But somehow it WAS something to me. And it’s got to me. A lot. Enough for big fat tears to have waddled down my face on a busy London Underground platform. Enough for me to feel completely distracted for the following days to come.


The other morning, on my way to work, I was coming down the stairs to the tube platform. Nothing out of the ordinary. I got to the bottom and came face to face with a stranger. All normal stuff.


I moved one way. But he mirrored me. I moved the other way. He did the same. But then again. And again. And, again. Yup, this happens. I know it does.


But it was the sneer on his unsmiling face. The foam at his mouth. The weird vacant look. I was scared.


In a packed London Underground station, I was scared.


He went to go one way, so I darted the other to get round him. Except he darted back towards me again. Pushing his whole body up against mine. Pinning me sideways into the wall.


It was a split sickening second. Far less than the time spent trying to get passed him.


A voice in the distance screeched. “Get off me you’re disgusting”. It was me.


He was gone.


Then other commuters were there. Looking at ME in disgust for holding up the way.


And that was that.


I suppose what I want to say is that we can’t keep going on like this. People can’t keep pretending that they can’t see these things happening. Whatever your sex, intimidation like this isn’t right and cannot be allowed to be swept under a carpet.

It’s not good enough to say that it happens everywhere in London. It’s not good enough to say that I wasn’t physically hurt so just ignore it… that it could have been worse.

I’ve not really spoken to anyone about this, but I’m not going to pretend it didn’t happen like everyone else did. Incidents like this don’t define us, but it doesn’t mean that this behaviour is right.


I don’t usually cry but…. this happened.




4 responses to “I don’t usually cry but…”

  1. Sarah says:

    So sorry this happend to you, you must have been petrified! London can be a funny old place can’t it? It seems to take something tradgic to happen before everyone unites then little by little that momentum fizzles out again and everyone is back to ignoring each other. It’s so sad but I think most people are just too afraid to get involved.

  2. Heather Keet says:

    This is absolutely vile Annette!!! Vile. This man pushing his full body up against yours while you are pinned to a wall is the definition of assault. All because you dared to be where he wanted to be. As if it is your duty to clear out of his way. It’s one thing to play the excuse me game where you both keep moving left and right, but those should end with an apology and laugh on both sides and then words being exchanged to facilitate which direction everyone is going to move, NOT someone being pinned to a wall! I’m so sorry this happened to you, I would have cried also.

  3. Annette that sounds terrifying. It’s sickening that things like this can happen without consequence in such a public environment. It is not acceptable and the more voices that speak up the better. I think you’re brave for sharing this but absolutely right to. Much love xxx

  4. Kim Carberry says:

    Oh no! I am so sorry this happened to you. Sending hugs x

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