The agony of being fat shamed in public

 

I’ll be the first to hold up my hands and say yes, I am well rounded and podgy. It sort of snuck up on me after Little Button was born. A few biscuits here, and an ice cream there. It adds up. I could certainly lose a few pounds *coughs, stone. But I’m happy. Enjoying life. Even if my bum has a bit more jiggle than wiggle these days. It’s OK, because I’m Ok with it and taking active steps towards being more healthy. As you should.

 

Fat shaming

 

But what I don’t need is someone to point the obvious out to me. In public. Loud and shouty. But that’s exactly what happened.

 

 

The agony of being fat shamed in public

We’ve been looking for a new car over the last couple of weeks. And the other day (the hottest day of the year) found ourselves in the coolest air conditioned showroom that ever was. It was amazing. Like sitting in an ice box. Thank you car showroom!

 

We were sat waiting to get some information from one of the sales team on a car that we would later go on to buy, when it happened.

 

I got fat shamed.

 

Right there.

 

In a car showroom.

 

In front of Mr Button and 5 year old Little Button.

 

A family of 3, sat a few desks down from us, were being a bit rowdy. Yelping, cracking jokes and generally drawing attention to themselves. Maybe they were over excited about getting a new car. But whatever was going on, they were making a giant spectacle of themselves, especially the mum. It looked like they were impatiently waiting for their sales person to return.

 

And that’s when it started.

 

“Oh my goooooooddddddddd, look at the state of meeeeee!!!” the mum screamed with laughter.

 

“Look how FAT my legs are. My leggggsssss are sooooo FAT. I’m disgusting” she squealed.

 

They all burst into fits of laughter, including their daughter who could only have been 9 or so.

 

I glanced up, and there. She was directing it at me.

 

Indirectly fat shaming me.

 

I felt flustered, embarrassed!

 

Mr Button was wrapped up in the details of the car we were looking at, and Little Button was watching a movie on her iPad (we’ve learnt to bring entertainment to car showrooms). Neither noticed, thank goodness. But I did.

 

I looked down at my fat podgy legs. Silently willing her to stop. A mum. A fellow mum, who thought it was Ok to torment another mum.

 

She continued.

 

“Loooookkkk at the state of me. I’m sooooo FAT. I’ll HAVE to starve myself. I HAVE to go on a diet. I’m disgusting”. More shrieks of laughter.

 

I felt my eyes burning. Trying to hold back the tears from welling up. Nodding and smiling at Mr Button’s chat about the car. Hiding my face from Little Button.  

 

I didn’t look back over. But could feel eyes on me from the other family.

 

This went on for a bit, but with no outward reaction from our direction, it awkwardly stopped. They seemed to then not know what to say or do with themselves.

 

 

Fat shaming hurts

Despite being comfortable with my now somewhat larger body, being fat shamed in public hurt. It hurt a lot. Or, I suppose, the best way to describe it was feeling like an upturned beetle. Not really able to say or do anything as the spiteful words were indirectly spouted at me. I was sort of stuck in a weird limbo of embarrassment.

 

 

It’s not on

It really isn’t on. Fat shaming someone in public. That family didn’t know me. They had no right to openly judge me. What went through my mind the most the following day was that what if they had picked on someone who wasn’t comfortable in their own skin. What if the mum they were taunting was battling an illness. Depression. A flurry of words like that could trigger all sorts of reactions. Fat shaming is never a good idea. Ever. Whether in jest, out of spite or meanness. It’s not right.

 

I’m sick of hearing way too many negative stories from other mums who have been in similar fat shaming situations. It has to stop. It really does.

 

Now, I know none of you lovely people would ever fat shame someone. But just incase this post ever does come into the hands of someone that takes pleasure from pulling others down, just remember. Karma.

 

 

Karma is a b*tch

So, yes. Karma is a b*tch right? That family. Well. The sales person came back to tell them they didn’t pass the credit rating check. They didn’t get to pass go, or collect a shiny new car. Shame that. Like I said… karma.

 

via GIPHY

 

*I didn’t laugh. Honest.

 

 

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40 Comments

  1. July 29, 2018 / 2:20 am

    Whaaaaat!? Oh Annette I’m speechless! Why would anyone say that to another human being? Having met you I can 100% tell you that you’re blimmin gorgeous. Shame on them for being so utterly repulsive as to act in this way. All the hugs lovely. (And thanks Karma! Ha!) xxx

    • July 29, 2018 / 5:43 pm

      Thanks for your lovely message Dawn. I suppose what goes around really did come around for them xxx

  2. July 29, 2018 / 10:44 am

    (some) people are just dispicable human beings. Bad enough they were ‘grown ups’ who should definitely know better but to make it a joke and OK in front of their own child, thus perpetuating it is outrageous. Sometimes I dispair of society..
    So glad karma hit them
    Ps :you are a gorgeous human xxxx

    • July 29, 2018 / 5:44 pm

      It really did make me cringe knowing that the little girl thought it was Ok to laugh along. karma xxx

  3. July 31, 2018 / 7:12 am

    I absolutely am horrified. How can anyone be so rude! I am so sorry this happened to you. You could have shouted ‘oh look, I’m in sooo much debt even a car sales person can’t sell me a car!’ Or ‘I’m so rude my children are growing up to be rude noisy brats’.

    Of course you are too nice and polite to have done the same back.

  4. July 31, 2018 / 8:38 am

    That’s horrid Annette! Omg how unkind! I just don’t understand people and in front of their child too. That’s disgusting but you must hold your head up high because you are loved by your family and that is what is important in this life.

  5. July 31, 2018 / 9:21 am

    Urgh, what disgusting vile human beings. I feel so sorry for their daughter who is being raised to think that it’s okay to shame people in that way. I am so sorry you had to go through that.

  6. July 31, 2018 / 11:21 am

    The other woman’s comments had nothing to say about you and everything to say about her. Not worth a second thought! And you are right – Karma is a b*tch!

  7. July 31, 2018 / 11:26 am

    How awful. Any way of idiot shaming these horrific people? Probably better not, just responding in kind. It’s precious little consolation at the time knowing these are hideous people, but really, since you can’t exterminate them, you have to ignore them and not let them see the hurt they are inflicting. BTW, since they didn’t get their car, this is probably accurately termed Carma. Boom Boom!#DreamTeam

  8. July 31, 2018 / 3:56 pm

    I am so annoyed after reading this. Annoyed that so many people have such disregard for other people and their feelings. Whether you choose to or not lose weight is up to you. You are a person with feelings and have the right to look however you please. That’s a physical thing. But no one can stop someone from being an idiot right? #DreamTeam

  9. July 31, 2018 / 4:28 pm

    I have been there! People just suck sometimes. How rude. I am sorry this went down like that. Such a shallow person to do that!!! #dreamteam

  10. July 31, 2018 / 5:25 pm

    I kept wanting you to say this was fiction to be honest. Feel for you but also very pleased to hear that you know your weight does not define you at all. I can’t be happy that they did not pass the credit check myself but I can imagine how you felt having insulted you – we are all human after all. #DreamTeam and much love to you – rise above it!

  11. July 31, 2018 / 8:23 pm

    That is disgusting, I mean how dare they think that was acceptable. And in front of their child who is quite obviously going to grow up thinking that bullying is completely normal behaviour. That is truly evil. And I’m glad they didn’t get their shiny new car!! #dreamteam

  12. July 31, 2018 / 9:16 pm

    I’m kind of amazed an adult would do this. WTF! That’s so weird. And hehehe on the credit check!

  13. July 31, 2018 / 10:21 pm

    What a absolutely delightful woman! People can be so mean (but in this case mean and stupid) just let it go way over your head. Much love xx #dreamteam

  14. August 1, 2018 / 4:14 am

    It’s unfortunate that there are people out there that are terribly rude like that. It’s worse that they are raising children to be like them.

    #dreamteam

  15. August 1, 2018 / 8:11 am

    I’m sorry this has happened to you. I find it genuinely disturbing that some people don’t even consider this to be unacceptable behaviour, even more so to do it with their children.

  16. August 1, 2018 / 10:37 am

    I am literally horrified that anyone would behave like that at all, but in front of their children is taking vile to a whole other level. How awful for you! I would never have been able to hold my tongue you are far more of a lady than I am clearly xx #DreamTeam

  17. August 1, 2018 / 8:17 pm

    Oh Ann sorry to hear you experienced this. What a scummy family. You’ve always been beautiful to me. From the first day I met you to now, nearly 15 years on. I would happily tell people that you are one of the most beautiful people I know. People who openly insult in public are not worth anyones attention. Lots of love from me xxxxx

  18. August 1, 2018 / 9:34 pm

    This is horrific!!! What the hell is wrong with some people! I hope Karma hits them harder than failing a silly credit check!!! Im so sorry you had to experience this, there is absolutely no need for it and im sure you are more beautiful than that stupid woman on the inside and out

  19. August 2, 2018 / 7:47 am

    I am so sorry this happened. They had no right. People like this only deserve our pity. That daughter is being raised like that. Thank you for sharing this moment of vulnerability.
    #DreamTeam

  20. August 2, 2018 / 3:47 pm

    How can someone get to that age and stage of life and not be more mature than that?! I can think of several clever ways to respond to her, but that wouldn’t help. Best to ignore, as you did, and not be seen to laugh uproariously when they were turned down for a car loan! 😉 I would be tempted though to try to look really ill and say something like, “The medical treatments I’m undergoing just now are piling on the pounds, but we’re hoping they will save my life.” Surely that would shut her stupid mouth! #DreamTeam

  21. August 3, 2018 / 11:40 am

    No – tell me this is not true. I’m sorry that this happened. How can people be so insensitive? #dreamteam

  22. August 3, 2018 / 7:51 pm

    I am horrified at your awful experience, for no reason at all. This was unnecessary and unkind. Blatant. As a survivor of a very bad and long eating disorder, I am disgusted at the lack of compassion and empathy. That in this day and age, we can be so uncaring, unkind… I’m nearly worldess… or set to write a post of my own. You are beautiful Annette, and I am so glad you have the strength in yourself to handle, and share this horrid fat shaming event. Big hug, lovely! <3 #dreamteam xoxo

  23. August 4, 2018 / 2:11 am

    sorry to hear this Annette. Every once in a while we all run into terrible people like this that can make it hard to keep faith in humanity. Disgusting behavior and a terrible example for her children #dreamteam

  24. August 4, 2018 / 3:48 am

    I feel bad you had to go through that but I totally cannot believe that some people are allowed to make children. What a stupid woman and she was raising stupid kids too who were learning from her stupid self. Good, I’m glad they didn’t have the credit to get a new car because they didn’t deserve one! #BlogCrush

  25. August 4, 2018 / 8:12 am

    Sorry that you had to experience this, karma certainly did come into to play, let’s hope it continued for the rest of the day#dreamteam

  26. August 4, 2018 / 8:26 am

    What sort of a person does this? – Let alone a mother! I thought mother’s were supposed to be role models! Perhaps she has her own insecurities but this is no way to act. #DreamTeam

  27. August 4, 2018 / 11:42 am

    I think my previous comment went to the junk folder! I’m back with #DreamTeam

  28. August 7, 2018 / 10:11 am

    I honestly can’t believe there are people like that! How despicable and what a shocking example to her children. #dreamteam

    • August 8, 2018 / 1:23 pm

      Yes, a terrible example. That poor little girl can’t be learning good social skills.

  29. August 7, 2018 / 8:22 pm

    This is terrible – what horrible people and what a horrible example that mother is setting her children. Like you say – what goes around comes around – I hope you see them waiting at a bus stop in the rain one day soon!! #DreamTeam

  30. August 9, 2018 / 6:45 pm

    Oh my god, I am so angry on your behalf!! I’m so sorry you had to experience this and I’m so glad Karma gave them what they deserved. Fat shaming is never ever ok and it makes me mad that this woman was saying those awful things in front of her impressionable daughter. Don’t listen to the idiots lovely xx #blogcrush

  31. August 10, 2018 / 2:01 pm

    The sad thing is that there are people like that on this earth, and they are teaching their children that this sort of behaviour is okay, so a whole new generation of foul people will continue their legacy. The good thing is that for each of them there is a dozen kind people who are willing you to take no notice and telling you how beautiful you are no matter what size your body. Take some comfort in that and make sure you give this incident no more thought. xx

  32. August 12, 2018 / 8:01 am

    Oh my goodness! I cant believe what I just read! How very, very rude! What a horrible woman and to be teaching her kids that kind of behaviour is apalling! There is just no excuse for being so horrible to anyone let alone someone you dknt know and Im so sorry you had to be in the same place as that bully. That wasnt a nice thing to experience at all

  33. August 14, 2018 / 11:49 am

    She is a horrible example of a mother! I know that lots of bad luck will come her way. You are going to receive lots of good blessings from above, and you and your family will thrive! <3

  34. August 15, 2018 / 7:02 pm

    Oh Annette! What a horrid, horrid thing to happen! I just can’t imagine what goes through people’s heads to think that that is in any way acceptable??! Plus she’s teaching her children to behave that way too. I am glad to hear that you are happy in your own skin – there are a million worse things to be than “fat” and a million more important things than the size of your waist. Be you, my lovely!

    And congratulations on being this week’s featured #blogcrush post!

  35. August 29, 2018 / 11:22 am

    I’m literally raging with anger right now! How dare she?! And to come from another Mum that’s just really sad. Well done for keeping calm. Lots of love to you ❤️ #blogcrush

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