To the mum who would rather ‘eat her own sh*t’ than shop with her kids today

September 3, 2018


#TrueStory. I’ve been battling an absolute killer of a migraine all today so popped out at lunch for a bit of fresh air. Our offices are right by Oxford Street in London and before I knew it, my feet had walked me into the kids department at H&M. I love H&M kids! Head pounding, I sort of wafted around, kid-free and settled on a rail of new kids leggings.


And that’s when I saw her.


The mum.


The mum that was clearly struggling.


The mum that could have been any of us.




To the mum




To the mum who would rather ‘eat her own sh*t’ than shop with her kids today


Hey fellow mum *waves.


I spotted you were having a hard time from the leggings rail. Your youngest running away from you, back and forth, as you pleaded with her to come back. You, sat on the floor, wading through the clothes trying to find the right sizes. But despite your chirpy efforts, she wasn’t going to play ball. Not today.


I tried to flash you my ‘I know how you’re feeling’ smile. But to you, in that moment, I was just another somebody, child free, relaxed with time on their hands to shop.


And then you slowly started to lose it.


Talking to no one, you ranted that shops should have crèches so mums could stick their kids in a corner somewhere and shop in peace for once. *rest assured that plenty of parents feel like this. Daily. You are not alone.


The rants got louder, as your patience was quickly becoming unraveled and lost into the oblivion. And then you did it. You shouted something.


Something that I’ve never heard anyone say before. In public. At that volume. Out loud.


“I’d rather eat MY own sh*t than deal with all this!”


And there. It was out there.


By this point, the youngest was making her great escape. Your eldest stood completely bewildered at what he had just heard. Not knowing whether to stay put or follow you.


I don’t know whether you died with embarrassment and hid in the changing room till everyone had gone. Whether you stood by your words and continued to shout potty mouthed and red faced. Or if you froze. Instantly regretting your tumble of words.


But what I do know is that you are not alone.


We ALL have days like this.


When things keep piling up on top of us, and just one more thing would be guaranteed to topple us over. Face-planted into the floor.


Days when if it’s not kid number 1 running riot, then it’s sure as hell kid number 2 doing it. Except 1 billion times worse.


And whilst we may not admit it out loud that we would rather pull out our own toenails with our teeth, than do another shopping trip with kids in tow again this week. I’m pretty sure we have all thought something along those lines. At some point.


In your case it was eating your own sh*t. But, you know. It was one of those blinky days, wasn’t it!


So. Yes. It was a bit of an ekky moment. But it’s OK mum. Pick yourself up. Pull yourself together. Because you have got this.


Stay strong. One moment does not define you as a parent.





27 responses to “To the mum who would rather ‘eat her own sh*t’ than shop with her kids today”

  1. Oh that poor woman. You know it’s bad when the profanities slip out in front of the kids. We’ve all been there. And it’s why I never go clothes shopping with my son. I really feel for her.

  2. Oh this could so easily be me, the poor sod! I hate shopping at the best of times!!

  3. Kelly says:

    We’ve all felt it, bless her, she said it out loud.

  4. Talya says:

    Oh man – I recognise this so well! We have all been there but at times like this you can feel all alone in the calamity!

  5. Marie says:

    I’ve had a couple of these moments, I always pride myself on being a calm person but I’ve snapped and had instant mum guilt. Lovely use of second person.

  6. I can definitely relate to this, here’s hoping this lady manages to put her feet up and destress after little ones have gone to bed.

  7. Yikes thats a #Awkward moment if ever there was one – although I have never claimed to have wanted to indulge in my own excrement I have had my fair share of parent melt downs…

  8. lindsey bray says:

    God I love this! I can totally understand. I’ve lost count of the amount of times my little one had a paddy in the sweet isle. I love that tv advert where the mum joins is and lays down on the floor screaming too, the kid looks so confused.

  9. Katie says:

    I’d so be this woman. Thankfully it doesn’t matter if you swear in front of your cats, haha!

    Katie xoxo

  10. I don’t think I ever shopped with my kids till they were old enough to shop for themselves so full credit to you. Somehow there were always friends with older boys feeling sorry for me with so many passing off their hand me downs which trickled through my boys. For life on the farm it was perfect, by the time they were old enough to want something else I was prepared to entertain a limited time of shopping. I’m still no shopper but thankfully my daughter would rather go with her friends than boring old Mum. I don’t even do food shopping, my husband does this and actually enjoys it, I just write a list – lucky I know! #DreamTeam

  11. Jaki says:

    I had a day like this just yesterday – we all have them! And it’s so much harder when you have them in public. I hope it was just a blip and she’s okay. #Dreamteam

  12. Sophie says:

    Oh we’ve all been there and it is sh1t isn’t is? Keeping calm is tricky at times for sure! #dreamteam

  13. We have all been there!!! #dreamteam

  14. Oh that poor woman. I hate shopping with kids and try to avoid it, but obviously not everyone can do that. #DreamTeam

  15. We nearly had a moment like this in H&M kids too! It’s hard when something like that slips out in public, but I’m sure we’ve all been there – even in our heads #DreamTeam

  16. Wow I know how she feels and we have all been there sometimes it all just gets too much #dreamteam

  17. Rosie Doal says:

    I sympathise with this poor woman’s story whole-heartedly. We all have days like this yet we’re made to feel so guilty for having these feelings. Thank God there are mums out there who understand the pain! #DreamTeam

  18. Debbie says:

    Creches in shops would be amazing. I would spend far more money though! #DreamTeam

  19. Oh one thing I don’t miss about the kids being older in this . I’ve fled many a supermarket in tears at the end of my tether ! #DreamTeam

  20. Dynamic Dad says:

    Oh yes, this happens to everyone. Just please don’t ask me “where’s mum?” or suggest maybe she should do it/take them/etc!

  21. Oh how we have all been there, and will be there again, probably soon. Thank you for writing this for her, and all of us who can easily get prodded into this dark place. You are as beautiful ans this piece! #dreamteam

  22. I hate shopping with the kids. Either they are bored and don’t want to be there or they are ‘helpful’ and want every single thing off the shelves. #dreamteam

  23. Kirsty says:

    Oh dear! We have for sure all been there! I once said FFS out loud when I thought I said it internally unfortunately one of the twins repeated it for days afterwards! Great post #DreamTeam

  24. Heather Keet says:

    I’ve seen that unraveling in stores all around me, it is brutal to watch and worse when the parent is beyond anyone stepping in to help her. Love how to wrap it up, one moment does not define you! #DreamTeam

  25. Crummy Mummy says:

    This is why I prefer to shop online – otherwise things like this happen to the best of us! #DreamTeam

  26. Lucy At Home says:

    Oh those days are tough, when you’re literally at the end of your tether. Shopping is definitely avoided in this house – I do as much online as possible (for precisely this reason!) and when hubby takes the kids out for the day, I almost always choose the treat of wandering around the shops by myself in peace. Haha.

    And someone else really related to this post too because they added it to the BlogCrush linky. Hurray! Feel free to grab your “I’ve been featured” blog badge if you’d like it 🙂 #blogcrush

  27. Oh… love this. It’s always refreshing to hear about other moms losing their sh*t. As someone who is largely confined at home due to illness, it’s easy to forget other moms have these moments too. Thanks for the reminder and solidarity. #blogcrush

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