#TrueStory. I’ve been battling an absolute killer of a migraine all today so popped out at lunch for a bit of fresh air. Our offices are right by Oxford Street in London and before I knew it, my feet had walked me into the kids department at H&M. I love H&M kids! Head pounding, I sort of wafted around, kid-free and settled on a rail of new kids leggings.
And that’s when I saw her.
The mum that was clearly struggling.
The mum that could have been any of us.
Hey fellow mum *waves.
I spotted you were having a hard time from the leggings rail. Your youngest running away from you, back and forth, as you pleaded with her to come back. You, sat on the floor, wading through the clothes trying to find the right sizes. But despite your chirpy efforts, she wasn’t going to play ball. Not today.
I tried to flash you my ‘I know how you’re feeling’ smile. But to you, in that moment, I was just another somebody, child free, relaxed with time on their hands to shop.
And then you slowly started to lose it.
Talking to no one, you ranted that shops should have crèches so mums could stick their kids in a corner somewhere and shop in peace for once. *rest assured that plenty of parents feel like this. Daily. You are not alone.
The rants got louder, as your patience was quickly becoming unraveled and lost into the oblivion. And then you did it. You shouted something.
Something that I’ve never heard anyone say before. In public. At that volume. Out loud.
“I’d rather eat MY own sh*t than deal with all this!”
And there. It was out there.
By this point, the youngest was making her great escape. Your eldest stood completely bewildered at what he had just heard. Not knowing whether to stay put or follow you.
I don’t know whether you died with embarrassment and hid in the changing room till everyone had gone. Whether you stood by your words and continued to shout potty mouthed and red faced. Or if you froze. Instantly regretting your tumble of words.
But what I do know is that you are not alone.
We ALL have days like this.
When things keep piling up on top of us, and just one more thing would be guaranteed to topple us over. Face-planted into the floor.
Days when if it’s not kid number 1 running riot, then it’s sure as hell kid number 2 doing it. Except 1 billion times worse.
And whilst we may not admit it out loud that we would rather pull out our own toenails with our teeth, than do another shopping trip with kids in tow again this week. I’m pretty sure we have all thought something along those lines. At some point.
In your case it was eating your own sh*t. But, you know. It was one of those blinky days, wasn’t it!
So. Yes. It was a bit of an ekky moment. But it’s OK mum. Pick yourself up. Pull yourself together. Because you have got this.
Stay strong. One moment does not define you as a parent.