Today marks the start of #AntiBullyingWeek.
It’s a week dedicated to highlighting issues around bullying and this year, supports the important message that ‘change starts with us’. We’ll be joining in with Odd Socks Day 2019 on Tuesday with Andy & the Odd Socks, and will be proudly wearing our loudest, craziest ‘odd socks’ in support of the cause. Beware; sock flashing will be taking place over on our Instagram page!
These type of positive campaigns offer a fun and engaging way into talking about bullying.
But.
What if it’s your child being bullied? It’s every parent’s nightmare… isn’t it. I don’t think anything can really take away that feeling of utter despair and helplessness at not being able to immediately ‘fix’ a bullying issue. However, you CAN arm yourself with a bank of knowledge to turn to.
I’m so pleased to introduce Simon Benn as a guest on 3 Little Buttons. Simon is the UK’s first Children’s Happiness Coach and he’ll be highlighting some key points for parents to remember.
By Simon Benn, Children’s Happiness Coach
I’ve helped more than 1600 children understand how to be happy.
What I’ve learned is that when it comes to being bullied, how the parent responds is one of the most important factors in the determining the outcome and future happiness of the child. If your child is being bullied, here are 5 things you need to remember as a parent.
1. Keep your emotions in check
It’s an emotional time but the more resilient you can be, the more resilient your child is going to be. You may be angry, worried or upset about what is happening to your child. However, you must remain calm and rational. Your child may already be overwhelmed by emotions, so be their rock.
2. Tell your child it is not their fault
The first thing your child needs to see is that it’s NOT their fault that they’re being bullied. Bullies say they’re picking on us for our glasses, height, weight, clothes etc. They’re really picking on us because they’re sad, angry or scared.
Show them how much you love them, tell them you will get through this and that you will all be happier when you come through it.
3. Help your child be resilient
Bullying upsets some kids more than others. That’s due to different levels of resilience. Most parents whose kids are bullied wish they’d built their children’s resilience earlier. But it’s never too late to start. Bullies don’t pick on kids that don’t react. No-one has the power to make us unhappy. We can choose how we feel.
4. Make it formal with the school
Many parents regret not getting formal enough soon enough. In the myriad of things on their to-do list, letters to the school don’t get written and schools don’t take enough action.
Your teacher and your child’s school will have come across bullying before. This may mean that they’re likely to be desensitised to it. This may affect their reaction and they’re probably likely to be less emotional about it than you. They’re not being heartless they’ve just seen it before.
5. Take the lead
We’re used to teachers taking the lead and taking care of what needs to be done. Many parents of bullied children have told me that when it comes to bullying, teachers don’t take the lead. I conducted a survey and 75% of parents told me they were dissatisfied with how the schools deal with bullying.
Don’t be frightened to ask for help. If you are not getting the support you want from your child’s school, don’t be afraid to ask for help elsewhere. You can and will get advice to help make your child happy again.
If you’d like more support, get in touch with me at www.bully-proof.com.
*Can you spot the Odd Socks!
Thank you for these tips Simon. For updates, you can also follow Simon on Twitter @_simonbenn.
If you or your child is experiencing bullying, please speak up and reach out for help from someone you trust. I know it’s incredibly daunting, but you’ve got this. The Anti-Bullying Alliance has a fantastic section on their website with tools and contact information of where you can gain support.
Please remember that you are not alone.
WILD is now out in Spanish!
WILD – Our debut children’s picture book
Dad blogger Ross Good from The Stented Papa is the official storyteller for WILD!
Happy book birthday WILD!
Number 1 is so hard. And number 4 is the must do, in my opinion. Good post. #Dreamteam
Thank you x
Such a horrible thing to think about but these seem very sensible words of advice , and something we definitely need to talk about more #dreamteam
Definitely x
I have a niece that was being bullied at school. The didn’t do anything and after several yers of this my sister and her family moved to another city. My niece is a fantastic kid and I can’t imagine who wouldn’t want to be friends with her. Tip# 1 is hard and but tip #2 is so right – it’s not their fault.
I’m so sorry to hear that Rosie. I hope she’s doing better now. 100% it’s not their fault xx
Yes, so important for parents to take the lead and to really BE the grown up in the situation.
Thanks for stopping by Michelle
Really useful post thank you. My son gets teased from time to time and I worry about it turning into bullying, definitely need to think about building his resilience. #dreamteam
We’re going to work on this too x
Such great advice. I definitely agree that taking it to the school formally can make a big difference!
#dreamteam
Thank you for these wonderful tips. My daughter is not at school age yet, but I’m already terrified of bullying, maybe even more so in the online world! #DreamTeam
I’ve yet to experience it with my two yet but these tips are good to know in case it doesn’t happen.
#DreamTeam
Some great advice. Something we all hope we never have to deal with but great to have the tools to do so if necessary! #DreamTeam
My daughter was bullied not only by children but by her Head. When it became a case of her threatening self-harm I took her out of school to home educate her. I wobble about whether I am doing right by her but she is here and happy and that’s good enough. Bullying can lead to issues that go on for a lifetime #DreamTeam
great post. I think the one thing I might add is that depending on the age of the bully to remember that there may be things in their life leading to these behaviors. Not easy for sure though #DREAMTEAM
This is such a wonderful campaign and I love the tips you gave for helping your child if they’re being bullied. I especially love about parents keeping their emotions in check – it’s definitely important to provide relief for your child and not fuel the problem by exploding with anger. #DreamTeam
What a fab campaign. Of course like every parent I hope I never need these tips, but I am very glad I read them so I could be prepared. The point about building resilience is something I hadn’t really thought of. It is an important life skill. I hope that one benefit of 4 siblings and the inevitable squabbling and name calling that occurs between them will be that my children will be super resilient…
What a great post Annette, I really enjoyed reading this. It is one of my worst fears that this might happen to one of my daughters some day. Thankfully not so far but these tips are very helpful because I can only imagine it is very hard to know how to handle a situation like this correctly #dreamteam
I like the sound of a children’s happiness coach – that’s a good title & great initiative #DreamTeam
Great advice and such a great initiative to get behind #dreamteam