The leg, the spider and the hysterical screams

As a parent, like I’m sure everyone else does too, I work hard at making sure that I keep things nice and calm.

Seagull plops dripping down a shoulder… no worries!  A mouse running in front of our feet at the supermarket… not a bother.  A drunk, dizzy angry wasp landing on someone’s head… no panic.

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Basically, enforcing the ‘don’t sweat the small stuff’ ethos for our little one. But then this happened…

The leg, the spider and the hysterical screams

*For authenticity of the sheer panic, I’ve copied and pasted what I ekked to pals Heather (Shank You Very Much), Nicola (Mrs Lighty), and Dawn (Rhyming with Wine) straight after the event.

Me : Soooo… something happened when I put Little Button to bed today!

She was in bed. Hubby was laying asleep on the floor and I was sat next to him reading Mrs Pepperpot.

Out of the corner of my eye something MASSIVE with lots of legs was running up my leg.

I SCREAMED.

Not once, not twice but constantly!!

I tried to jump up – but hubby was in the WAY! I was facing him, screaming… he opened his eyes, and screamed back into my face in panic 🤣

We are all screaming and I’m sure the neighbours must had been freaked out. (Hubby and Little Button were screaming because I was screaming, they had no idea why at this point)

It was a giant house spider!!!

I ran to our bedroom still screaming. Threw all my clothes off in case it was still on me.

And the bl**dy spider wasn’t on me LOL. It was stood in Little Buttons doorway – just standing there without a care in the world. (It was so big that I could see from down the hall)

By that time we were all completely out of breath from screaming… and then Little Button goes…

A spider must have laid its egg on you mummy (to me). It got separated from its family. Then it hatched and saw you and thought you were it’s mummy. (??!?!!???!!!???!!!)

What a blooming evening. I can’t quite believe it all happened. I’m still all squirmy from thinking a spider is on me.

HAhahahaha!

I’m so embarrassed too.. because I literally just screamed the house down!

And there it is…

In the end we all laughed. But I felt terrible and embarrassed still. Terrible for all the panicked screeching on my part. Terribly guilty for making hubby and Little Button panic too. And I just couldn’t shake that terrible sinking feeling you get when you know you’ve just epically failed at parenting. BIG TIME.

I actually wanted to cry.

But then, with a cup of tea in one hand and a choccy biscuit in the other… I remembered. It was just one moment. Yes, we all panicked into a hot mess of screaming, but it was just for a fleeting moment. No one was hurt. No one other than me cared about what had just happened. Everything was put right. Everyone was happy.

I suppose what I mean is that we all work so hard to conform to be what we are taught that ‘good’ parents should be. We try so hard to mould ourselves into these perfect parent-beings that can do no wrong- and sometimes we even get really good at it.

So, who cares if we accidentally let out a shriek (earth shattering scream) every now and again when things don’t always go to plan (a spider runs up our legs).

We’re all human, after all.

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