Don’t worry, you are not alone.
I always coupled being pregnant with sharing bare foot walks in the grass with a gaggle of mum friends. We would sip our iced water whilst sharing tips and swapping scan photos. We would be there for each other through the twists and turns that pregnancy brought.
But there were no mum-to-be friends wanting to be found in the waiting room of my first hospital appointment.
‘Don’t you have any mum friends?’ I remember being asked in passing from friends without children and family. ‘No, no, I don’t’.
There’s a thing isn’t there, an expectation. Once that buns in the oven they say that your sanity can only be saved by other bun hosts. But what if making mum friends isn’t happening for you, or maybe it’s not even your thing?
‘Don’t worry’ they said, you will make lifelong mum friends at your antenatal classes.
Already scared off by stone faced mums at the hospital and mum packs that seemed to move as one, I didn’t feel like putting myself out there anymore. I plumbed for the standard free antenatal classes and came away with some vague acquaintances, but nothing more.
Well, there’s always the birth she said. My lovely mum’s best friend was the very lady she met after having me. They chatted in the postnatal ward over smuggled in Mac Donald’s and KFC. The camaraderie growing strong over the old fashioned week that they had to endure, despite being completely fine and itching to go home with their new baby’s.
In contrast, my postal ward nightmare had me isolated in a so called ‘private room’. No one enter. She doesn’t deserve friends after her c-section.
Now, I’m not trying to give you a bleak outlook. What I’m trying to say is that actually, in the whole grand scheme of things, mum friends don’t always work out and it really doesn’t matter. Patiently ticking along in the background my best (childless) friend was there come rain or shine and that’s what did matter the most. I decided that perhaps it was me that wasn’t quite ready to embrace mum friends at the time, and that was fine.
Without expectation everything clicked. I found my mum friends. Not at my local stay and play, but here in the parenting blogging community. We are a mum tribe. We are there for each other every single day. No question is too silly or gross, and we have so much in common. We speak our own language; that of passionate writers, rhymers, photographers and social media influences. We chose each other.
It will, honest. Something will click and before you know it, you will have found your mum friends. You might bump into them in the park, whilst out shopping or perhaps you will find them right here.
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Blog name: 3 Little Buttons
Blog URL: https://3littlebuttons.com
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