Why Do I Have To Be A Trouty Mouthed parent To Be Heard?

January 29, 2018


I’m sat here fuming. Over boiling in fact and quite ready to let rip (*whispers – which isn’t me). And it all comes down to something so very simple. Why do I have to be a trouty mouthed parent to be heard? Whether lining up at the supermarket check out or a reception desk, it doesn’t seem to make any difference.





I Don’t Feel Like I can Be Myself

As in, my normal self if I want to be heard. I’m not shouty, trouty or a que jumper. I like to wait my turn, speak in my usual voice and be polite to the people I’m speaking to. But what if my normal is making me a push over? What if being shouty trouty IS the new normal?


I’ve spent a lot of time on the littles manners. Making sure she is polite, calm and in the face of frustration, doesn’t follow suit in unsavoury behaviour (in public). But perhaps I’m doing her an injustice in this. Because it seems that polite gets you nowhere these days!



Testing Out My Trouty Mouth

I’ve been suffering from a really gross chest infection and have been on strict orders to rest and be as stress free as possible. At some point (almost) every day this cannot happen as I face off against an almighty trout face who refuses to acknowledge me (I’m not invisible!). It cannot be avoided, and let’s just say, last week, even as I looked as white as a sheet, wobbly legged and wheezing like there was no tomorrow, there was no mercy. At all.


I’m pretty sure it’s being ill that’s made me so emotional, but two days in a row I have been sobbing to a bewildered Mr Button. So, I sucked it up and went all trouty faced to see if it made any difference. *slightly feebly as I’m still an infectious mombie.



Trouts R Us

But, you know what? It worked! I hate to say it, but it honestly did. The first time I tried it I was met with the same icy blank unmoving glarey starey face. But, channeling my inner trout bag, after being ignored, I lent over and across the reception desk and errrmmm hollered for some help to someone at the other end of the counter. *ok, so it was my version of hollering, but even I was pleased with myself! Shock! She hollered!! I got taken seriously. #win.




I’m pleased to report that I didn’t even need to do that the next day. I simply charged in like a determined (demented) trouty mouthed parent and trout face not only acknowledged me, but also smiled at me. Yes it was a very faint upturning. But it was there!



So Seriously…

I’m still a strong believer in treating others kindly and in the way I would like to be treated myself. But, when push comes to shove it seems that trouty mouthed parents rule!


*Disclaimer: I’m not suggesting that you should become a trout bag.


41 responses to “Why Do I Have To Be A Trouty Mouthed parent To Be Heard?”

  1. Heather Keet says:

    I have learned to speak up when people are ignoring me, I wouldn’t say I was quiet at all. More like a bullhorn. But my friend is quiet like you and she hates having to talk loudly to get people to listen. #DreamTeam

  2. I don’t like to draw attention to myself so I try not to do it often but sometimes you just have to do it to be heard. It’s quite sad really. #dreamteam

  3. I naturally hate conflict so i used to tolerate being treated poorly. Not anymore, a few years ago I found my back bone and while I still have a natural aversion to conflict once pushed far enough I push back. One of my favourite sis tell someone flat out that whatever fish sauce they’re dribbling is rubbish (literally I say “that’s rubbish”). It’s still polite but so abrupt most people never recover from the shock. #DreamTeam

  4. Lucy At Home says:

    I know exactly what you mean here – I’m quite a quiet person too and I like to give people the benefit of the doubt rather than raising my voice to them… but sometimes it does feel like that’s the only way to have any success. I also worry whether I’m doing right by my girls, teaching them to be like me rather than encouraging them to be pushy. And that’s really sad…

    I hope you feel better soon, lovely, and well done on finding your inner trouty mouth! Haha #dreamteam

  5. I’m also a strong believer in trouting … I mean, treating others kindly, but sometimes you just have to be heard, and whispering doesn’t cut it. Sad but true!

  6. I think we all need a few days like that. In tense situations where I feel myself about to blow my usual approach is to kill people with kindness, however the smile on my face that doesn’t reach up to my eyes is better than that of a James Bond villain/serial killer. That seems to unnerve people and it works a treat. Worth a try next time? #DreamTeam

  7. Careful, it can be hard to put the trout back in the box once unleashed 😉 I do think sometimes it is a needs must depending on who you are dealing with to be heard. I think friendly works most of the time and gets you further with what you want. But there are some people in the world who simply don’t respond to friendly! #DreamTeam

  8. I hate hearing the sound of my own voice. Makes.ne feel uncomfortable and embarrassed X #dreamteam

  9. Soffy says:

    Well done you! I hate raising my voice or speaking up a tone but sometimes it just has to be! Hope you feel better soon x #DreamTeam

    Soffy // themumaffairs.blogspot.com

  10. Ross Hunt says:

    Even if I was being ignored I’d still remain quiet and calm. Don’t really like to make a scene and all that, but I’m very socially awkward!

  11. Tubbs says:

    It’s so hard sometimes … I’ve learnt to speak up when I’m being ignored but it’s really frustrating having to do that to people who shouldn’t be ignoring you in the first place!!

  12. Channel my inner trout!! great post. It’s something you need in your arsenal alright

  13. Chloe Wood says:

    I know exactly what you mean! Sometimes I feel like being a nice person gets me nowhere! #DreamTeam

  14. Jemma says:

    This post made me giggle. I agree, I’ve had the same thoughts before about being seen and heard. It’s a shame that in todays world, you need to be a bit of an arse to get yourself taken seriously. I’m glad you stood up for yourself though! Good on you 🙂 #DreamTeam

  15. Jenny Curtis says:

    I think being heard is a good thing, but I would hate to slip over into being rude (even if they’re rude to you). On the other hand, passive aggressive I can do very well… #DreamTeam

  16. Nita says:

    I agree with so many of the comments above and your post. Sometimes, haveing a trouty mouth is the only way I can get the message across, but being of Chinese descent, I feel I have to be extra careful, because depending on who the recipient is, it can easily get into the lines of “go back to your own country”, even though this IS my country as much as it is yours.

  17. It is not easy. There is a balance. Sometimes though you just need to be heard! I feel your struggle. #dreamteam

  18. Chloe Day says:

    Hi, I also believe the same that you should treat others as you wish to be treated. I think there is a balance between assertive and being heard and being a trout mouth, sadly the latter seems to be quiet common now #DreamTeam

  19. You’re suggesting that we shouldn’t become trout bags … I’m sure most of us are already there! And wince our way through it! Great post.

  20. Moonsomnia says:

    Unfortunately it is trouty that gets people of their butts and going these days. I don’t like it either but sometimes it is essential…


  21. Unfortunately this is the way our society is. I guess a loud, booming voice is taken as a sign of superiority or confidence.
    Katelynn, hampersandhiccups.com

  22. Sophie says:

    There’s a difference between standing up for yourself and being rude so for me to be a shouty trouty parent, I would have to be polite too! I must admit I have had to send some rather shouty trouty emails recently as a parent as I’m fed up with something happening at my sons school! Those parents that seem to shout a bit get what they want so I thought I’d try it too! Of course I would never do that as a teacher….oh no….that’s left for the staff room, #dreamteam

  23. Jen says:

    I’m a believer of treating people how you wish to be treated but sometimes you do need to become trouty to get anywhere! #dreamteam

  24. Unfortunately this is true at my mummy’s work, in the doctors surgery, at the supermarket and in the school playground 🙁 if you are meek or mild mannered – you end up getting ignored 🙁 It’s such a shame but manners don’t seem to apply for adults. I also say ‘excuse me’ and ‘thank you’ extra loudly when people don’t see me or are rude to my face. #DreamTeam

  25. Kate says:

    I hate conflict with people I know but somehow have always been able to made myself heard in public situations … well done for speaking up! #dreamteam


    I spend so much time teaching my children manners and I watch other peoples (rude) children get there way, I remember at music class the ones that pushed in got all the best instruments. It drives me mad that often the quiet ones are often forgotten just because they are actually waiting their turn. I think this continues into adulthood unfortunately. #DreamTeam

  27. Being heard is a good thing but I really don’t like being shouty and bulldozing others so that I am. It’s sometimes needed but I don’t do it as a way of course – it’s really against my nature! Makes me sad that those who shout loudest always get seen to first. Then again if something genuinely annoys me or I feel like I am being needlessly ignored then I definitely pipe up!! #DreamTeam

  28. Confrontation is quite literally the stuff of nightmares to me but when my kids are involved I can get a touch of the “Tiger Mum” about me… As a result insert seem to think me high maintenance which fills me with self loathing but what can you do? It gets shiz done!

  29. Sorry but I just had a bit of a chuckle. This is my husband – he is so kind and will always give people the benefit of the doubt but to me it seems as if people just step all over him. I’ve told him so many times to open up his mouth and say if he is not happy with service received. On the other hand I have a trout mouth when things get out of hand. Like just now I was on the telephone with a service provider doing work at my house and the guys have messed up. So on that note let me just calm down and breathe. #dreamteam

  30. Helen says:

    I’m terrible at speaking up, but have got better since having kids (my patience gets exhausted at home so I have less to go around when i’m out the house). I think you’re right that you need to be loud to be heard. #dreamteam

  31. It takes a lot for me to get loud. I have pretty bad social anxiety and high stress levels make me turn into a turtle more than a bull horn. My little girl is only one and is very observant. She’s starting to pick up on other childrens’ bad behavior. I’m hoping to keep her grounded! Thanks for sharing!

  32. Unfortunately, sometimes speaking up is the only way to get things done. I agree that this world shouldn’t require it but alas it does! #dreamteam

  33. Fi Anderson says:

    I feel the exact same frustration! I mainly put it down to the modern way now days #dreamteam

  34. Lux G. says:

    I can’t judge because I’m not a parent myself. Learning so much from this.

  35. I’m like this with my kids: ask politely two or three times and get completely ignore then yell like a banshee and they look shocked to find I’m even in the same room and hurt that I shouted. Not sure I would do it to an adult/stranger but maybe! #dreamteam

  36. I can so relate to this Annette, and having met you I can confirm that you are so lovely and polite! Imagining you being even remotely troutish makes me giggle! Hurray for taking on the trout and winning! xx

  37. Helena says:

    We certainly do need to be our own cheerleaders and have just as right as everyone else to be heard. #DreamTeam

  38. Omg this is totally me!! I am *usually* quiet, reserved, wouldn’t say boo to a goose. But when I know I’m about to be walked over, a completely different side comes out! My husband hates coming somewhere with me if I need to complain as he gets embarrassed! I don’t know where it comes from #dreamteam

  39. I’m like you and way too quiet and spend my life biting my tongue…BUT this can mean the odd occasion you do raise your voice or change your tone it’s very effective!! #DreamTeam

  40. Michelle says:

    Sometimes you have to speak up in order to be heard. Sometimes you have to yell to get your point across because otherwise the receiving person doesn’t take you seriously. It sucks that it has to be that way with some people though. I hate yelling and I hate getting angry but I will if I have to. #DreamTeam

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