Lunchtime survival for the conscientious working mum

Mums out there who have recently returned to work after maternity leave will join me in remembering the good ol’ days of maternity lunch. Yes, it might not have been exactly AT lunch time, and yes, it may have consisted of yesterday’s icky left overs and staggered over a few hours in between feeds, nappy changes and general entertaining.  But there is something great about being able to put together a homemade lunch and enjoying it wherever you like, in whatever state you may happen to be in.

I have been back to work for ages now, so over the next few months (it might take me a while to put these together) I thought I would share some funny, random and just plain weird lunchtime survival tactics that I have picked up along the way.

Day 1 – Monday – if in doubt, pretend you don’t speak English!?

This actually happened today.

Lunch is usually done and dusted by 1pm for me as I am still running on baby/toddler time. Today, for one reason or another I went off for lunch much later than expected. As a self-confessed conscientious working mum I am all too aware that a quick dash out for a sandwich could take forever in the tail end of the lunchtime flow in central London. Running out the door, and heading towards Boots for a meal deal (these will become your new best friends once you give up on trying to bring in your own…again), I could see a figure moving in to block me. Yes, a dreaded charity street worker, the kind that is able to hone in on the ‘in a mad dash – don’t have time now – I actually do already donate/fundraise/am on the committee’ busy bees and stop them in their tracks.

In usual circumstances I would:

a) Look for a gap in the crowd to try and make a great escape – though mostly failing in this.

Or b) Screech ‘sorry I can’t talk now’ a million times whilst trying to pry myself away from said do gooder.

Well not today. Today I did the unthinkable. Without thinking I looked at this particular happy chap with a blank expression and in a weird made up accent that I am sure neither of us had ever heard before, I announced

‘a donnu’t understannnn, a donnu’t speak English!’.

We both looked at each other for a split second, me: why did you say that?! him: you are joking right?! And then as if it never happened, I sped past just as he let me go. Just like that, and managing to escape the typically wasted 10min hold up. Result!

Right, I must stress that I had no idea what came over me. I was in a hurry, I had things to do, and auto pilot just took over. But…. it worked! Iam not saying that you should follow suit, but it’s a handy one to have up your sleeve…..for an absolute emergency.