I somehow managed to snort cold tea up my nose when one of my blogging besties told me that it was happening. She was finally (and very deservedly) getting one of her fantastic rhymes published. In. A. Book. A real book! Yay Dawn (aka Rhyming With Wine). There was much squeaking, whooping and cheering for at least a week in celebration from over in the #DreamTeam corner of the blogosphere.
We’ve all been excitedly waiting to get our bloggy mitts on one of the advance copies of the hottest reads this year. And when our emails finally pinged, let’s just say we’ve not stopped laughing.
We Need To Talk About the Conditions of my Imprisonment …And Other Funny Parenting Stories is an epically funny collection of snort inducing short reads, put together by humorous parenting blogger, Michelle Tan. It features some of the most hilarious bloggers from across the land. And there’s literally something for every occasion packed into this little book, which will be available to pocket over on Amazon from the 21st April 2018.
Pretty much every parent is going to be able to relate to the 21 short and witty stories that completely expose parenting for what it can really be like. Look away new mum… look away! 😉
It’s for that time when you sheepishly look around you in THAT restaurant you thought was going to be child-friendly.
“My chips shall be sauce applicators
For shovelling ketchup at pace.
I’ll guzzle down half of the bottle,
Then rub the rest into my face.”
Eating Out, Toddler Style by Dawn White – Rhyming With Wine
Or, for when you’ve heard ‘mummy, mummy, MUMMY!’ on repeat for the last 24 hours and don’t think you can take it anymore.
“I need to clarify a few things for you all. I believe you know ‘of’ me. You may be forgiven for thinking my name is something exotic, something quirky even. But that high pitched ‘MMMUUUUMMMYYYY’ that you all no doubt hear being squawked all day is actually just my ‘work’ name.”
Dear Neighbours In Our Apartment Complex by Anna Brophy – Mummy Muckups
For when you’ve been parent judged to an inch of your life.
“The Bitchy Gossiper. Perched at the centre of her own personal mummy clan, the bitchy gossiper is the reigning matriarch of her ice-cold clique.”
Eight Women You Need to AVOID to Survive Mothers’ Group by Melissa Sorini – Hugzilla.
Then finally, when you’ve been completely embarrassed by your little one yelling inappropriate words like ‘BUM’ and ‘WILLY’ in the middle of a toilet break (which happens to be packed full of ladies willing you to HURRY UP).
“Oh no, mummy! Your willy fell off.
No! Mummy doesn’t have a willy.
How does the wee come out?
Would you like some chocolate?”
Where Do Babies Come From? By Claire Kirby – Life, Love and Dirty Dishes.
When you’ve had the mother of all days… and need to know that you are not alone. Or at the very least, know that someone else has gone through exactly what you have just done, BUT WORSE! This is the book for you.
I’ve loved every second dipping into the different stories as I’ve zipped to and from work on the Tube, hid with it in the loo at home, and tucked it under my pillow at the end of a long day. It gets a big parent thumbs up from me, and no I’m not biased at all *winks at the other bloggers and high fives Dawn. OK, so maybe I am a little. But I know you are going to LOVE THIS!
Fancy a well deserved giggle? You can pre-order your own copy now over on Amazon.
Disclosure: I was kindly gifted an advance copy of We Need To Talk About the Conditions of my Imprisonment …And Other Funny Parenting Stories – which has been an absolute honour to read. Thanks Dawn! *No affiliate links – just a good old fashioned pointer to where you can find a copy of this fab book.